Friday, 10 March 2017

'Brown Furniture'

There are three types of old, fermented grape juice:
Red, white and pink.
It's OK to buy your own, like Michael Heseltine,
All wine is fine, 
Anything goes, everything goes,
All down and out the same way,
All just p*ss waiting to happen, as they say.
But if you are lucky enough to inherit,
Don't worry about formalities
Such as which is more valuable or desirable,
All old grape juice has merit.
Just think, 'what would my guests and I like to drink',
And say things like: "I know we'll have three bottles of that old Tokay 
Made into a punch with some of that Prosecco from Lidl
To go with the chicken pie I bought for lunch".
It's a much more quirky and modern approach.
It doesn't matter at all if you're entirely ignorant
About grapes and vintage and soil and climate.
That's the advantage of relativism,
You can just claim all things are equal, 
No need to discriminate.
Nothing has intrinsic worth,
And this way nothing goes to waste,
It's all just a matter of personal taste.


(This was inspired by an article in The Spectator money section about how to fit out your Georgian rectory.  Apparently 'brown furniture' is acceptable)

No comments:

Post a Comment