Ivan Rogers, most long winded,
Can’t his contract be rescinded?
Tedious and dull and boring
Made for shunning and ignoring.
Yet given room to write at length
His doom and gloom, God give me strength!
Which moron here at the Spectator,
Thinks this old prevaricator
Adds a single thought of use,
Just because he sounds abstruse?
A bore is never less a bore
Because his reasoning’s obscure.
The truth is Ivan’s very bitter,
Here’s to brevity and Twitter!