Friday, 8 April 2016

Vintage Ear (Or A Strange Question In My Inbox.)

Are you still considering vintage ear?
Does this item still catch your eye,
As it flaps in the wind, perhaps,
Having grown a little larger each year?
What is there still to consider?
Click the link, you could still be the highest bidder.
I'm sure you could make up your mind, 
If only you would try.
Let me help.  Firstly a vintage ear
Has the advantage of allowing you to hear,
Subjectively.  No need to tune in to everything.
Birds won't bother you, or your wife.
You will find
That life
Is much more peaceful, but never fear,
You will still discern
The absence of any faint click
Denoting the failure to switch off the light
When some other member of the household
Leaves a room.  You'll still be up to that trick.
And any whispering of curses under breath,
Will be absolutely loud and clear.
Vintage ear is not a disadvantage,
Unlike vintage sight.
Don't get left behind.
Vintage ear is very much the in thing
Amongst people of your age.
It vies with baldness, grey hair turning white,
Wrinkles and extra freckles
For the feature most likely to make you appear
Like a sage.

(When I opened the email so that the full title of the subject was revealed it turned out to be   "Are You still considering Vintage Early Twentieth Century Gilt Framed Mirror?")

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