Friday, 21 February 2014

An Invitation to a Cervical Smear Test

We invite you to lie down sans underwear,
Upon a plastic couch, in tissue covered,
And draw your knees up so your heels
Adjacent to your buttocks are,
Then let your ankles flop, so now your knees
Are pointing either side and we can see
To screw a clamp inside you, cold and hard,
A speculum of shiny stainless steel,
So we can undertake your smear or screening.
We invite you to pretend that you don't mind,
And even make some bright and cheery small talk
As we scrape away some cervix cells,
With spatula, a lolly stick,
Or nowadays a friendly paint brush thing,
Then pop them in a test tube with some liquid,
And send them to the lab, where we will notice
If anything suggests you are dis eased.

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