This Government's Position

As Deputy Prime Minister,
Let me spell out our position:
Things will be truly dreadful,
A disaster, one big mess,
Things will be awful and chaotic,
And therefore let me stress
My own incompetence,
Without inhibition.
We cannot govern easily,
Because we're not exotic:
Only suave, drunk, scheming, foreign chaps know how to rule,
You see, I might be a Minister, but I'm also a fool.
So let me emphasize the failure of our administration,
And let me cause the public more and more distress,
Let me advertise our weaknesses
Our laziness, our uselessness,
Let’s inflate the great frustration,
That is felt throughout the nation,
Let me talk the country down.
As Deputy Prime Minister
Let me tell you our position,
Things will be truly dreadful,
Disastrous, one big mess,
I might have sworn allegience to the Crown,
But I'll show no contrition,
For I hate this thing ‘the nation’
Though I demand your admiration,
While plainly admitting I'm a moron and a clown.