Thursday, 3 March 2016

Inbox: Junk Mail - Do You Desire An Extra Fire In Your Bedroom Life?

Well, no to be frank.
And I wish you'd stop asking,
You're giving me a complex.
But you see:
By the time I have cleared out the grate,
Shovelled the ash into the bucket,
Taken it out to the bin,
Emptied it,
Come back in
And back upstairs;
By the time I have scented the room
With the sweet perfume
Of paraffin, from Zip firelighters,
(Which don't need unZipping,
So don't really get me in the mood)
Been back down again,
Carried up the bags of kindling from Lidl,
Screwed up the chip paper,
Arranged it into a pyramid
With old clinkers on top,
(Always a bit of a fiddle)
Found the matches,
And refilled the coal hod
And carried it up,
It's too late.
I'm too knackered for sex.

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