Thursday, 3 March 2016

Inbox: Junk Mail - Do You Desire An Extra Fire In Your Bedroom Life?

Well, no to be frank.
And I wish you'd stop asking,
You're giving me a complex.
But you see:
By the time I have cleared out the grate,
Shovelled the ash into the bucket,
Taken it out to the bin,
Emptied it,
Come back in
And back upstairs;
By the time I have scented the room
With the sweet perfume
Of paraffin, from Zip firelighters,
(Which don't need unZipping,
So don't really get me in the mood)
Been back down again,
Then:
Carried up the bags of kindling from Lidl,
Screwed up the chip paper,
Arranged it into a pyramid
With old clinkers on top,
(Always a bit of a fiddle)
Found the matches,
And refilled the coal hod
And carried it up,
It's too late.
I'm too knackered for sex.



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