Kitchen Lament

The dog sleeps on

Beside the stove,

The wind roars wildly down the flue,

As I pick up my violin

And try to keep the tuning true

Of notes I learned so long ago.

A strange lament for all sad times,

Which seems to have a Hebrew hue,

I can’t help overdoing it,

Sliding notes to make them blue

And adding hopelessness to show

I know the sad thoughts all men know.

But saddest thoughts are soon dispelled,

The welling tears are quickly quelled,

As I survey the kitchen sink

And all the housework left undone

And drift into a haze of guilt

As phrases slide past one by one,

Conveyed by absent mind to arm,

No longer stirring sorrow deep,

But urging me to let things be,

To go to bed and try and sleep,

And leave the boring chores alone. 

The hairy floor can always wait,

The scattered crumbs can’t come to harm,

There’s nothing that I can’t postpone,

The day’s been long, the hour’s late,

I don’t need music’s help to moan. 

 

Family Voting

I  have cast our family vote,

But I’m not misogynistic,

We won! I don’t mean to gloat,

Not to be too simplistic,

We need money, politicians must be altruistic,

My wives and I are in the same boat,

We need the support of the idealistic,

I have cast our family vote,

We return politicians’ favours, note,

We return them to power, I’m not chauvinistic,

I backed a woman, best for a scapegoat,

But I’m not misogynistic,

This woman’s views are pluralistic,

Free stuff for all client groups, so we dote

On the creature, we’re realistic,

We won! I don’t mean to gloat,

But her party will keep our people afloat,

Always good to be optimistic, 

And If she lets us down we can slit her throat, 

Not to be too simplistic,

The Greens will understand, they’re truly socialistic,

Violence and leftism always hand in hand, I quote

“We stand for organised terror.” But no need to be pessimistic:

I have cast our family vote.