Have you heard the news?
Let’s not bother exchanging views
On this latest novel,
I really had to grovel
To get Susan Hill to visit us the other day,
No, let’s hear what we all have to say
About the asylum seekers down our way.
So refreshing to have some savage sorts
Amongst us, let’s compare the different cohorts,
I pride myself on being able to differentiate,
Having a degree in anthropology,
And as I contemplate
The latest act of brutality,
I like to imagine I’m informing my own writing,
I’ll be a new Barbara Pym, only better,
Do you think any behaviour is biology?
Or simply custom, tradition?
Pym was a Fascist, I’m much wetter,
Oh, but it’s all so exciting.
Did you hear
The daughter of Simon and Sarah Constable
Was raped the other week?
But they put out a statement straight away,
Saying anyone who needs to seek
Asylum, is welcome here any way,
Though it happened down in Dunstable,
Where she’d gone to stay.
Yes, that’s old gossip now,
And who cares about books,
Compared to dark strangers with hungry looks?
Regarding literature no one gives a toss,
The Montefiori’s girl was murdered,
And butchered, like a cow,
Though immediately Rebecca said,
We don’t really care that our daughter’s dead,
We just don’t want Fascists exploiting our loss.
And then, did you know
Caroline Smythe Grainger
Suffered something of a blow,
Found her latest hubby,
Woman, identifies as such,
In the garden in the clutch
Of a very dark stranger,
Good looking, though quite chubby,
Taking it up the arse, behind a new hydrangea,
She simply clapped her hands,
And said “Oh, this is super,
Just like a passage in a Jilly Cooper.”
And s/he replied it’s my back passage dear,
Go back inside and do not interfere.
No comments:
Post a Comment