Saturday, 28 September 2019

A Plea





Please don’t nail my testicles to the table,
It’s’s a valuable table and I prize it.
It’s rosewood, 1820 , deep red brown with grain of sable,
And it’s English too, so please do not despise it.
Of course the Regent did admire the Napoleonic style,
So it has a graceful French look about it,
And of course you know, I too, am a mad keen Francophile,
It’s not my balls I care about, don’t doubt it. 

Inspired by this section of an article in The Spectator by Rory Sutherland:

Remainers have almost exclusively made their case on economic grounds, yet in a manner far more fanatical than the businesses they claim to defend. One of the strangest aspects of the Brexit debate is how readily people on the left adopt neo-liberal beliefs about free trade when it supports their emotional predisposition. This may explain why such people have won so few converts; after all, it doesn’t sound convincing to hear leftists suddenly profess passionate concern for global supply-chains. Theirs is an emotional fear disguised as an economic argument; a bit like saying: ‘Please don’t nail my testicles to the table, it’s a very valuable table.’
You can’t help but think: ‘That isn’t your real reason, is it? 

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

“The Haste of the Fool is the Slowest Thing in the World. “

The slowest thing in the world is the haste of the fool,
Who seeks to undermine that which over years
Has been held fast, because it is a good.
He rushes through his Bills and seeks to rule
A people whom he holds in deep contempt,
And cannot bear the fact he shares their race,
Dispensing with their wishes in distaste
He makes them criminal by passing acts.

Because he is a fool he moves in haste
And sees the nation through his weak, myopic lenses
A poor, distorted, wishy washy place
Where principle and moral have no force,
Revealing he has nothing understood
And ultimately cannot stay the course.

And other fools, whipped up into like frenzies,
Craving power in their ignorant greed,
Champion his folly as they school
Their minds in shallow, thin and meaningless ideas,
Believing they are radical, in contradiction
To the definition of the word, for who needs facts?

That which Orwell had predicted but thought fiction
Has come about through this crazèd, foolish speed
This ‘rational’, ‘liberal’ shallow intervention
Has sought to lay a once great nation waste. 

But a fool’s haste is the slowest thing there is
And a country knows its stories and its fate
And writes its history in terms of people,
And fools, by definition, learn too late
Their folly, viz:
Movements borne of popular dissent
Are never crushed by those who legislate. 




Wednesday, 4 September 2019

Detected as Spam



This comment has been detected as Pek,
Your previous comment was detected as Fray Bentos corned beef,
Because it attempted to start a bit of an Argie bargie.
Here at the Spectator, every time we see one of your comments,
We think ooh ‘eck, this woman’s ideas are beyond the pale,
But we don’t want anyone giving her grief,
We believe in free speech, yet this woman’s feeble minded, frail,
And highly offensive, like cheap ham.
So we’ll detect her remarks as spam,
All arseholes and eyeballs, and beyond belief.

Saturday, 17 August 2019

Lady Chapel, Ely Cathedral.


There’s no purifying fire, though it’s source, the sun
blazes, somewhere, out of sight,
just purifying light.
The blue above the Fens, Prussian, lapis lazuli, azure,
scattered in the atmosphere, 
contrasting with the grey-gold-white
of limestone lamella, hymenophore,
pours through plain panes, making things clear.

The stone crowd, once gathered in niches, is no more.
There’s only Modern Mary, plump in pleated  gown,
as if months have passed since she conceived,
arms raised to Heaven, eyes down.
And only a few living souls stand, stunned,
gazing in awe,
struck, not by stained, chromatic decoration,
but by destruction, desecration, 
which yet seems cure,
a counterintuitive restoration,
not just of faith in God,
but in the superior skills and determination, 
of men who believed,
though so much of what they achieved
is no longer there.
Now there is only clarity
what is left, laid bare,
peace, calm
flooding through each warped, transparent plane,
creating here and there a lens,
Magnificat Dominum
pouring through
this ‘Ship of the Fens’
this miracle of the warp-land plain,
this place, whose space was ever pure,
so that we’re bathed by balm 
the grace that spills across each embrasure.




Sunday, 4 August 2019

After Reading an Article in the Middle of the Night About Dr Seuss, and how to Pronounce His Name.

It is too late, it is no use,
I keep on saying Dr Seuss,
I read your words and hear my voice
And find I simply have no choice,
However much I wish to say
His name the proper German way,
My silly brain will not refrain
From mispronouncing it again. 
It is too late
I have no choice
I simply can’t say Dr Seuss. 

Saturday, 3 August 2019

Paving Over the Cow Paths



Meandering at random in pursuit
Of more of what was sought before and loved,
Does not seem a bad way to make a route.
But fixing these in stone is plainly mad
And a pointless contradiction in terms.
And yet I don’t rejoice, I don’t feel glad,
When cogitating the alternative,
Because I know that those who’d 'pave the way'
And lead their followers to  pastures new,
Are prone to lead the gullible astray.
And worse than a tarred cow path is a road
Paved with good intentions, ill thought through.


Monday, 1 July 2019

Bells on Sunday



The ringing isle, that Handel named
still rings, despite the lack of faith,
of those who dwell within the bounds
of steeple and sky piercing spires.  
They hear,
above the daily grind, 
despite white headphones in each ear,
and dreary ‘music’ banging.

And when the peals are rightly famed
for purity of dinging sounds
and clarity of singing chimes, 
they feel, quite rightly, that they own
this tintinnabulation tone,
this lovely clinging clanging.

Bonging, tenor rhymes
re echo
from marvellous medieval towers
on and on and on they go,
inside the mind
and give the sense this noise is ours.

And how much greater pride we feel,
when ‘our’ bells’ seem to appeal
to those who choose which shall appear
on Sunday morning radio.