The High Ground of the Moral Relativist

I'm the king of the castle, my dirty rascal friend,
I shan't require you to leave, nor even recommend
You take a bath. I don't require you to change,
I love to pity and indulge you. I will rearrange
The state's affairs in order to allow you
To carry on just as you are,
For you are just a speck of dust
And I'm the brightest star.

Let me do as I'd be done by,
I shan't cast the first stone,
Let me show your immorality
Isn't yours alone:
It belongs to those who'd judge you,
To those who do not see
That chastising, urging caution
Is deleterious to me.
For you are just a speck of dust
And I'm the brightest star
My beams more radiant in proportion
To the shitty thing you are.